The Affair
by Jm-b
Summary: DJ are unhappy in their respective marriages and can't resist temptation, but something turns their lives upside down and causes Dawson to make a decision that affects Joey and his life.
1. The Beginning

The Affair  
  
A/N: Don't own a thing so don't sue me. DJ can't fight what they feel for one another, but when push comes to shove, can they really stick it out?  
  
I think people use the term, "I'm having an affair" way to lightly. I mean what exactly is an affair. When I think back to when my mom cheated on my dad in high school, I guess her "affair" was screwing her co-anchor behind my dad's back for weeks and she probably would have kept it a secret unless Joey hadn't seen them together.and well the rest is history there. If I were to use that example to define the word "affair," then that's not really what I'm doing. Well yeah I sleep with this other woman, who is not my wife, occasionally, but what I have with this other woman is so much more than just sex. What I feel for her and what I know she feels for me transcends that, lovers, friends, boyfriend/girlfriend. What I feel for her is so deep that I cannot describe it. She's my soul mate, why should I feel bad for what I'm doing, she doesn't. Or she didn't.  
  
Things are so different now than what they used to be, actually they're a 180-degree turn from my life a year ago. What seemed so complicated then is nothing as what it is now. How did I get here? How can I fix all the wrong things I've done and help all the people I hurt, especially Joey. The last image I have of her in my head is burned into my retinas and it haunts me in my dreams. I wish I could change that, change what I did and take back the things I said, but I can't. Now I suffer in silence while my wife continues on with her daily business, unaware of the secret I harbor and the true feelings that hide inside of me. I should tell her that I don't love her anymore, that I want a divorce so I can go find my true love, if she'll still have me. After our last official conversation, I'm not sure she would and I can't really say as I blame her. I was a bastard, cruel and heartless but I still love her..I would do anything to have her back. But before we get into that, we should probably catch up to how I got here.  
  
So after Jen's funeral, I went back to LA and Joey and Pacey went back to New York. Sure I was a bit jealous that they were attempting to date again, but after the promise Joey and I made, I know it wouldn't last. Six months later I got that phone call, from her, saying it was over. She never gave a reason and I honestly didn't care. Back to being best friends, we talked several times a week, visiting when we could and e- mailing one another all the time. I missed her a lot, but was content with how life was going. I didn't know then that I still loved her, although there were hints at times that she still loved me. A few times when we visited one another, there were heavy make out sessions and near sex experiences, but I always pulled back. After about a year of this, she asked me flat out if I would consider getting back together and I lied, I said no. She had hurt me so badly before that I couldn't let myself get close to her at that moment. Needless to say, things strained a bit after that.  
  
She went back to New York and we began speaking less and less. I wanted to call her up and say that I was wrong, but when I finally got up the nerve, she called me to say she and her former boyfriend Christopher were back together and getting married. I remember watching them wed, noticing Joey was giving me every opportunity to stop it. She was waiting to hear the words, "I love you," but they never came from my lips. After they were married, I felt like I had nothing left to lose romantically. The only person I ever really loved was unattainable in the utmost sense of the word so I began dating Sarah, a young actress I met one night. She was nice, cute and sweet but she was a workaholic just like me. Bound and determined to succeed, her priorities were elsewhere all the time, which made it easy for me to be with her because she wasn't a top priority for me either. She began pressuring me to take the relationship to the next level and after talking with Joey one night, hearing how happy she was, I proposed and married her in private without telling anyone a few weeks later. It's funny but I regretted it the minute I said, "I do," and the sound of shock and hurt in Joey's voice when I called to tell her the news haunts me as well.  
  
"Are you serious Dawson? You're married?" she gasped, trying to collect herself.  
  
"Yes aren't you happy for me?" I said, analyzing her reaction.  
  
"Yes, congrats," she said after a long pause, her voice cracking a bit.  
  
So I settled into married life and was happy myself. Having someone there to talk to, to be with and be around was great and Sarah and I were happy for a time. But then she became obsessed with work, using my contacts to help her out, working at bizarre locations all over the world on any bit part she could get. Looking back, I see she only really married me for my name and what I could do for her, maybe that's partially why I didn't feel as bad for what I did later on. On our second anniversary, Sarah got a job offer for a sitcom shooting in New York and wanted to take it. I was growing tired of the LA scene, having lived here for a long time, and I missed Joey more than anything. After the marriage bombshell we spoke even less and I wanted so badly to fix that and so I agreed. "The Creek" was over now and I was just putzing around for a new project. We moved to New York, "accidentally" near Joey and Christopher's apartment and I set out to win back my best friend. Sarah spent all hours with the cast and crew, working and rehearsing and taping and my new job at the network was.well not that challenging so I had all the time in the world to find Joey.  
  
She still worked in publishing, for the company she started at after college. Apparently she was a big wig there now after a few successful books she worked on. Audrey even told me that she was writing a few of her own books and the buzz on one was hot. For two days I waited outside Craig Publishing in Soho to see her, afraid to call and schedule something. When she finally left, I felt my heart stop for a minute. She was older now, her dark hair hung loosely over her shoulders and she still had this unidentifiable gleam in her eye and confident step in her walk. I followed her for a bit and then ducked around a corner to "accidentally" bump into her as she turned Houston Street.  
  
"Hey watch it," she snapped, leaning down to pick up her briefcase.  
  
"I'm sorry Joey," I stammered, finally realizing that I had to talk to her.  
  
"Dawson." she started, looking at me with wide eyes and dropped jaw. Before this, we had not spoken in months and had not seen one another in years, since her wedding. But now we were right in front of one another, neither one sure of what to say. I was waiting for the inevitable, the yelling the what-do-you-think-you're-doing-here, but it never came. Tears started in her eyes and she threw her arms around me, holding me so tight that I felt lightheaded.  
  
She forgave me in that minute and all the hurt and pain of the past few years absence was gone. What happened between us though didn't happen right away. No, we went back to being best friends first. After several weeks of hanging out together constantly after work, she told me that things with Christopher were strained. He worked too much, was gone researching or promoting too much. I scowled when she said he blew off her birthday and anniversary because he had a book signing tour that he refused to leave for a day. He never did deserve her though so I wasn't totally surprised. After dinner and several glasses of wine, she told me she was unhappy in her marriage, that her husband never paid attention to her and was never around. She suspected he was cheating but couldn't prove it. I confessed as well that Sarah was never around and was so work obsessed, something I got over a year ago, that I felt like I was dragging behind her. I even admitted on our second bottle of wine that I still loved her, Joey that is, and that I missed her terribly. She did the same and with that look in her eyes I knew trouble was ahead.  
  
It was innocent in the beginning. We went to the theater and to dinner at night. I would pick her up from work or meet her somewhere and we would just spend hours talking and laughing like we used to. When she received another promotion, I took her to dinner because Christopher said he was too busy. I made her feel better when he said that he would rather work than celebrate. It was like we were fifteen again, laughing, joking and talking like we used to. We hung out at each other's apartments and even went for walks in the park and ice skating in the winter. Because our spouses were gone so much, it was almost like we were married, minus the sleep over and sex part. It's funny looking back because Sarah was never jealous about Joey, maybe because she would rather worry about work then her husband hanging out all the time with a former love. Joey never mentioned anything about Christopher either, but I doubt he cared. When we went out we still held hands, linked arms and hugged and kissed affectionally. It was strictly platonic, well sort of. Things began to change as more time went by. I took her to work events, never thinking to ask Sarah anymore and Joey always knew I would be there for her if she needed to talk or cry. Things were getting worse at home and when Sarah was out some night she started sleeping in our guestroom.alone and only because I didn't want to start anything with the possibility of my wife coming in late.  
  
It stopped being innocent though a few weeks before Christmas. We were out to dinner, our usual routine, when we started talking about the past and things we would have done differently. A dangerous subject I know. Anyhow, it was friendly enough up to the point that she admitted how hurt she was when I just wanted to be friends years ago when we were visiting and making out regularly with one another.  
  
"I'm sorry," I said, hanging my head while holding her hand.  
  
"It's okay because I shouldn't have let it end with that," she said, catching my attention. "I should have made you hear me out more, I should have made you admit how you really felt because I knew it in my heart that we should have been together."  
  
Hearing her say that sent me spinning and next thing I knew I kissed her in the cab on the way back to her apartment. She froze at first but then relaxed, kissing me back and wrapping her arms around me. As I think about that night now, I just remember that kiss and feeling like for the first time in years, I was wide awake and not just going through the motions of my days. She could still stir up every emotion I had inside and make everything seem like it would be okay. We ended up at the Plaza hotel that night and made out for hours, kissing, holding and touching one another like we hadn't in years. I felt at the age of nearly thirty that I was fifteen years old and madly in love with the girl down the creek. We didn't make love that night but it was so amazing. I felt alive again. The next morning, still dressed in our clothes and lips swollen from kissing. I woke to find Joey frantically putting cover up on her neck to cover the huge hickey I gave her, hey I couldn't help myself. She saw me and smiled, jumping back on the bed and into my arms.  
  
"I think we have to talk about this," she said softly, kissing my jaw.  
  
"Why," I said softly.  
  
"Ah because we're married," she said with a "duh" look on her face. "What does this mean?"  
  
"I don't know," said honestly. "But I do know that I don't want to lose you and I don't whatever this is to end."  
  
"Me too," she said with a smile, leaning in to kiss me again. So we never really defined what it was that we were doing, but I know neither one of us regretted it.  
  
For the next year we fell into a new routine and amazingly neither Sarah or Christopher were the wiser. It blew my mind at first how the red flags came up in front of her face but she remained solid and worried only about work, sometimes ignoring my presence. Three days a week Joey and I would meet. I told Sarah that I was taking a class in the suburbs and would be late most nights, which she didn't care. Joey actually told Christopher she joined a book club, yeah because book clubs require formal dress at times and returning home late or early the next morning. But surprisingly he didn't care either. I wouldn't be surprised if he didn't even hear her say it. As I said before, Joey and I met privately three times a week and sometimes more, but our activities would be appropriate for public. A guy at the network at unlimited access to a room at the Plaza, overlooking Central Park and agreed to share it with me so long as my "activities" didn't coincide with his. I never thought I would time share a room with a co-worker so we could "cheat" on our wives.  
  
So I met her there, but it wasn't like we were porn stars every time. Sometimes we just watched movies and cuddled or ordered room service and danced to music like we were at homecoming. Oh there were occasions where we would make love all night until neither one of us could breathe or literally handle anymore. Being with her physically again was just like it was in college, except better. I think my favorite thing we would do outside of sex was reading to one another from great books while lounging in the tub, bubbles all around us. I leaned against her so she could wrap herself around me and I just closed my eyes and floated away as she read. My favorite daydream to visit was us, doing the exact same thing, except we were married and we didn't have to hide everything. I hated leaving her, going home to a cold and often empty place, but with just a phone call we were together again. During out time together, we just focused on being together in every sense of the word, never worrying about past lovers or the experience we acquired without one another. I told Joey she was the best lover I ever had and she laughed at first.  
  
"I thought you told Natasha back in college that she was 'the best you ever had,'" she laughed, stroking my face.  
  
"That was before you.after that nothing ever compared," I said, leaning in to kiss her again and letting nature take its course. We never talked about our spouses and if we wanted to leave them or not. We were just happy being together. It was a bit uncomfortable at the holidays back in Capeside though. Sneaking away together, holding hands privately under the table with our spouses just a few feet away. I won't lie and say I wasn't jealous when Christopher kissed Joey in front of me, but I never let it bother me because she loved me and was "cheating" on him with me. She was mine, finally.  
  
So life was good.no it was great. Work was great, friends were great, family was great and love was even better. I was so happy, I never saw the fall out coming.  
  
It happened one afternoon when Joey called me at work and said she had to see me immediately. I agreed and we met up at the hotel after work. I could tell she was nervous about something but I didn't let it bother me. She even seemed a bit reluctant in my kiss and embrace but I could only focus on how she felt in my arms.  
  
"What's the matter," I said, leading her to a chair and pulling her on my lap.  
  
"I have to tell you something and I don't know how you're going to react," she said, tracing her finger around on my shoulder.  
  
"You can tell me anything Jo, please, just be honest," I said, starting to panic a bit.  
  
"I'm pregnant Dawson, three weeks a long," she muttered, looking up at me with a feared yet hopeful look in her eye. I think the words "pregnant" rang in my ears for a bit and I felt like the rug was pulled out from under me. "It's yours."  
  
"I figured," I muttered, feeling a rush of emotion hit me.  
  
"What do we do? Do we tell Sarah and Christopher, do you want to do this?" she asked hesitantly, burying her head in my neck.  
  
"Do what?" I asked, feeling the walls begin to close in on me.  
  
"Raise our child together?" she said.  
  
"How is that even possible?" I asked, feeling very warm and cramped all of a sudden.  
  
"Well we could divorce our spouses and be together, we don't to get married right away or at all but we could be together as a family," she said, placing my hand gently on her stomach, where our child was growing.  
  
"How did this happen?" I stammered, trying to sort through all the thoughts in my head. This may sound horrible, but I love Joey more than anything, but I still wasn't sure if I could leave Sarah for her. Sarah, despite all her faults and constant absences, was still somewhat stable. I knew what to expect from her and what she wanted from me. It was comfortable. Joey still stirred up everything inside of me and I was afraid she would leave and hurt me again, which sounds ridiculous now because she had willingly and happily cheated on her husband with me for over a year.  
  
"I don't know but it's not like we were careful every single time," she said softly, keeping my hand on her stomach.  
  
"I can't do this Joey, I'm so sorry," I said, jumping up from the chair and tearing my hand away from her stomach. She looked at me in shock and horror.  
  
"What do you mean you can't do this?" she demanded and with damn good reason.  
  
"This, a child, you and me, this is just getting way to out of hand," I said, fishing for my keys and briefcase.  
  
"You're leaving? What about me and your child, the one we made together," she stammered.  
  
"What do you want from me Joey, what do you want me to do?" I asked, still unable to face her because I knew I could crumble. I was doing it again, pushing her away, punishing her and abandoning her.  
  
"I love you Dawson and I know you love me, I want us to be together and be a family," she said, hearing my sigh. "I want you to leave Sarah and be mine because I don't want to be without you anymore." Looking back I should have told her that I felt the same way and that I wanted to marry her, be with her and raise a family together, but I was scared and I ran away.  
  
"Joey I'm sorry but I can't," I said, finally looking at her, hoping the words would come out. "This was just a fling, a fun thing we did because we were unhappy. I can't be there for you and the baby and I think."  
  
"You love me don't you, you believe in what we have?" she interrupted, looking for something to hold onto. Finally getting my briefcase and keys, I had to put the final nail in the coffin, even though it would kill me and probably cause me to be in a loveless marriage for the rest of my life.  
  
"No I don't, I don't love you Joey, not like that anymore..it's over for good," I said with a cold tone and brushed past her before I could hear her collapse in sobs in the room while I managed to wait until my apartment to break down because I was such a fool. 


	2. After Shocks

Lately I've been having this dream that I can't seem to shake. I'm walking around Capeside, just wandering with no destination in mind and I see Joey in the street. She's still as hauntingly beautiful as she was the last time I saw her and she's carrying a small child, our child. She's fidgeting and fussing with the bonnet, kissing the child's cheeks and cooing at him or her incessantly. I can't help but stop and watch them, wishing I had not ended things the way I did so I could talk to her and see her face. Deciding to take a chance, I walk over to her but just as I get there, a man I don't know intercepts her and kisses her passionately, taking my child from her and pulling her into his arms. They look like a family and it makes me sick. I should be there with him. I should be holding our child and kissing her but I'm not. It's usually around the time she starts to giggle and squeeze the man's butt playfully that I wake up in a cold sweat, gasping for air. I should be gasping, the only person worth living for is gone now and it's all because of me.  
  
So it's been three months since Joey's little announcement and my horrible exit from the Plaza. I settled back into my pre-Joey routine and tried to make it through each day. Sarah was still working all the time and it was probably for the best. I could barely look at her or myself because of what happened. I hated to even look in the mirror or close my eyes because the look on Joey's face when I said it was over and that I didn't love her was too much to handle. So I suffered in silence in a loveless, barely existent marriage because it was safe, even though my heart wanted to go out and find Joey and be with her. The few times I saw that actually happening though came in my dreams.  
  
As time went by, I heard from Audrey, my reluctant informant, about Joey. She said that Joey went home and told Christopher that she was cheating on him and wanted a divorce immediately, which won her one good smack across the face before he let her go. The thought of him hitting her made my blood boil because it wasn't her fault that she and I were together like we were. It wasn't my fault either, it just happened. Audrey said Joey was keeping the baby and moved into a new apartment and was working more from home to avoid running into her future ex-husband at the office.  
  
"Should I go talk to her?" I asked Audrey over the phone one night.  
  
"Are you nuts? She would kill me if she knew I told you any of this," Audrey shrieked. "She doesn't want to see you Dawson and I think after what happened at the hotel that you have no right to see her right now."  
  
"She carrying my child," I said angrily.  
  
"Yeah the one you said was a mistake and abandoned the woman you love who is carrying it," Audrey snapped.  
  
"I didn't mean it," I said softly.  
  
"Yeah well you sure did a hell of a job convincing her that you meant it," she snapped again. "She left her husband Dawson and owned up to what happened, she wasn't a coward like you."  
  
Audrey stopped calling after that a night. I guess she woke up and realized that telling me about Joey and keeping her alive in my heart and mind was wrong. After begging and pleading with Joey's secretary, who knew about us and fielded calls while we were together, I had her address and I was determined to see her. She would have been about five months pregnant now and I needed to see her, to tell her how I felt and how wrong I was. I was finally ready to ask Sarah for a divorce and I wanted to get out. To get out and be happy finally with someone I loved and loved me back. I had a few daisies in my hand and my heart started racing, afraid of what might happen when she did see me. After ringing the bell, I could hear footsteps come closer and I began to feel faint, only to snap back when I saw a portly man answer the door.  
  
"Can I help you?" he said, looking at me and the flowers in my hand curiously.  
  
"Ah I'm looking for Joey Potter, or Joey Matthews, she lives here," I said, wondering if I had the wrong address.  
  
"There's no Joey at this address man," he said with a sigh. "She moved out a week ago."  
  
"Did she say where she was going or leave anything?" I asked, feeling my heart sink and the painful realization that I had really blown it settle in me.  
  
"Nope just said she was leaving New York for good, nothing here to stay for anymore," he said, noticing my pained expression. "She was pretty pregnant though so her sister came to help her." Bessie, she could help me, if I begged enough. So I called and begged for Bessie to tell me where she was but with no surprise, she wouldn't budge.  
  
"You've got to be kidding me Dawson if you actually thought I would tell you where she was," Bessie laughed.  
  
"Please, I just need to see her for five minutes," I begged, almost on my hands and knees over the phone begging.  
  
"Burn in hell if you think I would let you go near her after what you did," she snapped.  
  
"Hey I remember her being a willing participant as well," I said angrily, getting tired of the constant Dawson bashing.  
  
"Yes she was and she took responsibility, she left her husband that she didn't love and held out hope for months that you would do the same and come find her but you didn't because you used her and threw her away," Bessie yelled, slamming the phone down.  
  
I think it's fair to say the next few months were horrible. I still tried to find Joey, even calling a P.I. to try and locate her, even if just to know she was alive. But nothing worked. Jack and Audrey chose to stay on Joey's side of this and Pacey was well far removed from it all. I still thought about her every day and I dreamt about her too. I began turning to liquor a bit to numb the pain and guilt I still felt and to deal with the dull monotony of my days. Ironically Sarah finally asked for a divorce, noticing my change in demeanor and because she met someone else and ironically again been cheating on me for most of our marriage as well.  
  
"I love him Dawson and I deserve this, to be happy with someone who loves me as much as I do them," she said, handing her Gucci bags to the cab driver. With a chaste kiss, she was gone and I was completely alone with no wife, no friends and no Joey all at my own doing. When the phone rang in the middle of the night that October, I barely was able to answer in time thanks to my gin soaked sleep.  
  
"Hello," I mumbled into the phone, reaching around for my watch on the nightstand.  
  
"I don't know why I'm calling you, maybe it's because everything I've heard about you actually makes me feel a shred of sympathy," the female voice whispered into the phone.  
  
"Who is this?" I asked, waking up a bit.  
  
"Joey just gave birth to your son and I thought you should know he's healthy and looks just like you," the voice said and hung up before I could say anything.  
  
I've never really had an epiphany before but I think the sound of the dial tone after that caller hung up was finally it. It was my wake up call. It was no surprise that I hated my life and what I had become. I was alone and unhappy all the time. A year ago I was married with friends and the love of my life with me and now I managed to push or alienate them all away. I was tired of being unhappy and being alone. I wanted Joey, I always wanted her and now I was ready to go get her and my son and make a life together. The words she said the night our whole little affair started rang in my head.  
  
Flashback "I shouldn't have let it end with that."I should have made you hear me out more, I  
  
should have made you admit how you really felt because I knew it in  
  
my heart that we should have been together." End Flashback  
  
What she said was right. I shouldn't have let our incident at the Plaza end it and I should have made more of an effort to tell her what I was really thinking and feeling rather than push her away again. She knew back then that we belonged together and I knew it now. That night I packed a bag and got in my car to head back to Capeside and I wasn't going to leave until Bessie or someone told me where to find her. 


	3. Karma

The weather in Capeside was beginning to change when I arrived early the next morning. Living in New York for a few years, I almost forgot what it felt like to have the chilled wind run through you, slapping your face and tossing your hair. With all the buildings in New York, they fortunately capture most of the wind that blows through the city. The leaves were beginning to turn in the small town and the view of my house was quite stunning as my car pulled into the drive. The leaves were bright red and orange and I could see that my mom had already pulled out the Halloween decorations for next week's annual Leery Halloween party. Remembering back to my Friday the 13th party all those years ago, the image of Joey falling out of the closet, pretending that the Ladykiller had cut her throat. The thought of losing her and being left without my best friend terrified me at that moment and makes me laugh a bit now because I really did lose her, but not to some psycho killer.  
  
"Dawson is that you?" my mother calls, snapping me from my thoughts.  
  
"Hi mom," I say, hanging my head a bit and walking into her warm embrace. I had yet to really tell her about Sarah, our impending divorce and everything that happened with Joey. I think she had an idea though that something was going on between us. At Christmas Joey and I were kissing and holding one another in one of the guestrooms when she walked in to deposit Jack's coat, almost catching us. I tried to behave myself while Joey was there with Christopher, but we snuck away several times to kiss and I held her hand tightly under the dinner table, catching my mother's inquiring eye. She certainly didn't know that she was a grandmother or that her son was the reason her grandson and Joey disappeared.  
  
It was after a warm hello with Lily, who was dashing off to play with Alex, that mom sat me down and waited for me to open up.  
  
"I screwed up mom, I screwed up pretty bad and I don't know if I can fix it," I said, my voice cracking a bit, finally able to open up to someone about this.  
  
"What happened Dawson?" she said softly, reaching for my hand.  
  
"Sarah left me, we're getting divorced," I say, burying my face in my hands.  
  
"Oh honey I'm so sorry," she said soothingly, rubbing my shoulder, causing me to laugh.  
  
"No mom, I'm not upset about Sarah leaving, she left me for another guy, someone she was with during most of our marriage," I said, laughing a bit. "The ironic thing is that we both loved other people during our entire marriage, only she has the chance to be with the one she loves."  
  
"Dawson I don't understand what you're talking about," she said confused.  
  
"Mom while Sarah was cheating on me, I was cheating on her..with Joey, for over a year," I say, feeling better that it's finally off my chest. My mother's reaction was fairly calm, as I said, I think she knew something was going on.  
  
"Dawson." she started.  
  
"No mom it gets worse," I say, taking a deep breath. "Christopher was never there for her and Sarah was always gone.and it started completely platonic and then it just became something more. And we were happy.so happy, but then Joey tells me she's pregnant and I just panicked. She said she wanted to be with me and wanted us to leave our spouses and be together, and I wanted to, I wanted to leave Sarah and cut her free and be with Joey finally after all these years. But I panicked, I was afraid and I told her it was over, that I didn't love her and that I never wanted to see her again."  
  
"Oh Dawson." she started again, but I wasn't finished.  
  
"So she left Christopher and left New York," I said. "She left him and wanted me to go to her and I didn't. Audrey would tell me things from time to time but she wanted to protect Joey, just like Jack and Bessie did. I got a phone call last night that said she had the baby.a son. I love her so much but I was scared and now she's gone and no one will let me talk to her at all."  
  
"I know Dawson," Gail said softly.  
  
"What do you mean you know?" I said, my mother unable to look me in the eye.  
  
"I know about Joey being pregnant, I know she gave birth to a son, I saw her." she said, fidgeting with her hands.  
  
"You knew? You knew and you didn't tell me?" I said angrily.  
  
"Dawson I was instructed not to tell you.I had to respect her wishes," my mother said, looking at me finally. I felt like my heart was being torn right out of my chest. My own mother knew but didn't say anything.  
  
"Do you know where she is?" I ask, hopeful she'll say yes.  
  
"Yes Dawson I do," she said, reaching for my hand again.  
  
"Tell me mom, please," I say, trying to fight the tears in my eye. I see the hesitation in her face, mentally she's contemplating what she should do, betray her surrogate daughter or leave her son like this.  
  
"She's in Boston Dawson, she lives there now and has been since she left New York," she says finally, watching my face light up. She's only an hour away.  
  
"I have to go," I said, getting up to get my stuff together. "Do you have an address?" She nods and hands me a folded piece of paper that has Joey's name and address on it.  
  
"Dawson you do what you have to do, but be careful," she said nervously, hiding something from me.  
  
"What do you mean?" I ask, temporarily tearing my attention away from my bags.  
  
"I think if you go to see her you should keep in mind that whatever picture you see in your head might not be what you really get," she said, moving into the kitchen. "Things have changed Dawson, they're different now."  
  
"Mom," I laugh, "This is crazy. Joey still loves me I know it. What we have will survive this like it has everything else. Trust me I'm coming back with Joey and your grandson." God I was as naïve as I was when I was a kid. To think that it would really be that easy. In the movies it was that simple, but not in real life. I needed a good hard reality check or kick in the ass, but that came later too.  
  
"Good luck Dawson," she said, helping me to throw my stuff in the car, waving as it took off.  
  
The entire ride to Boston, my heart was racing and I couldn't stop smiling. At a rest stop a long the way I saw a father and his toddler son playing and I couldn't believe that I was that person. I was a father. The phone call told me my son looked like me, but I couldn't imagine what he would actually look like. It was nighttime when I arrived in Boston so I immediately checked into a hotel downtown. That night I dreamed of Joey and our son. She was standing in a park, pushing our son on the swings when she sees me coming toward her. Without a word she walks to me, our baby in her arms and I hold her. I can smell her hair and perfume even in the dream. Just as she is about to kiss me though I wake up, the sound of the alarm ringing in my ears, causing me to groan.  
  
"Come on not even a kiss?" I stammer, hitting the Snooze button and a smile growing on my face.  
  
Later that morning I was walking around downtown, slowly making my way to her apartment. I walk by her street several times, unable to get up the nerve yet to go to her door and knock. For the first time I'm actually afraid of what she might say. While walking down her street for the millionth time, I take a minute to actually look at the park at the end of her block. It's rather large and quaint with slides, swings and playing fields for sports. Several mothers are there, chatting and playing with their kids. Again I'm captivated by that image, imaging my Joey as a mother. Still unable to work up the nerve to go to her apartment, I go to the park and sit on a bench, watching the mothers pushing babies and toddlers in the swings, the sounds of children's laughter filling the noon air.  
  
I sit and watch for a while, noticing the fathers come to join their wives, picking their children up and kissing their little faces. I'm so caught up in the sight that my concentration is only broken by a familiar sound, the sound of Joey's laughter. Her laugh is so distinct that I can pick it out anywhere, even after years apart. My eyes start scanning the park to find her, unsure if I would actually recognize her.  
  
"Okay baby look at mommy, can you give me a smile," I hear her say, spinning my head around to follow her voice. After a few minutes of searching, I see her sitting on a blanket under a tree with a picnic set around her. She looks just a lovely as the last time I saw her and for a minute I just take in the view, how glowing and radiant she looks. I feel my heart race increase as I continue to look at her, nearly giving me heart failure when she picks up the baby resting in the bassinet in front of her, holding him up. I can't see his face but I can see his chubby little legs and his arms dangling from the blanket she has him wrapped in. This is the first glance I had at my son and I can't stop staring at him or his mother. Finally getting the nerve up to walk over to her, I still hear her cooing to our child.  
  
"Come on baby can you say mommy? Mommy.M.O.M.M.Y," she laughs, annunciating every letter in Mommy. I laugh and slowly put on foot in front of the other, getting closer to her. The baby is blocking her view of me walking to her, but it's okay, I would rather surprise her.  
  
"You are the most beautiful baby in the whole wide world, yes you are," she giggles, kissing his stomach and giving him a little shake. I'm about to call something to her when I stop, someone else interrupting her.  
  
"Joey honey he's only a few days old, you can't expect him to say mommy yet," a male voice says with a laugh. Suddenly I freeze in my tracks, wondering if that voice is really talking to the Joey I fear he is. Jumping behind a tree, I pause and work up the courage to look around at her picnic. Sure enough there is a tall man with dark hair and eyes sitting next to Joey, also gazing adoringly at her son.our son.  
  
"John come on you never know, my little boy could be a genius and repeating Shakespeare's sonnets by heart at age four," she laughs, handing him our son as she digs in the basket.  
  
"Genius Joey? Okay maybe but Shakespeare at age four is pushing it a bit," he laughs, balancing the baby in one arm while wrapping an arm around her waist, pulling her back to him, causing me to almost vomit right there.  
  
"Okay maybe not, but this boy is going to be such a heartbreaker," Joey says, leaning in to kiss the baby's cheek before doing the worst thing I could imagine, leaning in to kiss the mystery man. I want to look away but I can't. After a quick kiss she pulls away but he leans in again and they kiss deeply, still holding the baby in his arms. I can't look away and I can't seem to say anything at that moment. I'm frozen in my shoes, hiding behind the tree.  
  
My mom was right, things really are different. I won't be going home with my Joey and my son. She's moved on, she's found someone else, someone who cares for her and the baby and won't leave her and tell her she was a mistake. At that moment I hate myself more than before for what I did. I've lost her all over again. I lost her to Pacey, twice, and I lost her to Christopher when they married, but now I've lost her again, yet this time it feels worse than before. Maybe it's because she has our child and we actually have a chance to really be together, between the baby and both of us being divorced, or maybe it's because this is really the ending we're supposed to have.  
  
I'm spared a long passionate kiss between them and continue to watch for a few minutes, even catching a glimpse at my son's face. I'm still tempted to go over and talk with her but I know I can't now. I've hurt her for the last time and for me to waltz back in her life now and disrupt everything wouldn't be fair. I pushed her away and she moved on. She looks so beautiful and so happy, how can I ruin that? So as painful as it was, I made a choice.I chose to walk away, to let her be happy. She doesn't deserve me.she didn't deserve everything I did to her that night at the Plaza and all the hurt she ensured afterward. Leaving her and our son alone now, with this guy or anyone else who will treat her right is the best thing I can do. Closing my eyes to say a private goodbye, I take one last look at her and then walk away, tempted to look back, but I don't. I leave the park and Boston that day and don't return again for four years. 


	4. Turning Point

It's been four years since I last physically laid eyes on Joey or the baby. At times the years went by quickly as I occupied my time and thoughts away from them, but then there were the times when it dragged on and I felt like every minute was an hour. I still think about them, I still dream about them and wonder what might have been if I had not been so stupid years ago. I'm thirty-four now and I would like think I've become a different person, but not necessarily for the better. After leaving the park that day in Boston, I didn't go home to Capeside. I went back to New York, packed a few things and just left, needing to be as far away from the East Coast and any reminder of Joey that I had. If I was going to walk away, and really walk away this time, I couldn't be within driving distance to her because I would crack and go see her. So to toughen my resolve I moved to Sausalito, California and bought a small house near the water. It was nice and quiet, removed from busy life and a big city. I had no interest in visiting LA and my remaining work friends there so I spent my time at my house, working in the garden and in the yard, fixing up the house to make it as homey as possible. I even went and bought a small boat and spent hours during the day fishing and riding in the water. Years ago I made sure I was always well dressed and clean shaven but that faded away too and soon I stopped caring about how I looked because I rarely saw people anyway. I grew a some facial hair and let my hair grow a bit long again. My clothes were dirty at times and clean at others, my wardrobe mostly consisting of T- shirts, cargo shorts and sandals. Sometimes I would laugh because Joey would kill me if she saw how I looked, all haggard and grizzled.  
  
The few times I did wander into town for food and other necessities, I would grab a copy of the paper to keep in touch with the rest of the world. My mother and I spoke still on occasion but I think she knew I just needed to deal with this stuff on my own. She knew about John, or whatever the guys name was that I saw with Joey. She did warn me before I left, but I naively thought I could just saunter back in and get her back. A few months ago I saw an article in the LA Times and the Boston Globe about Joey, apparently she wrote a series of children's books after our son was born and became quite well known and famous. Her books were a huge success and she often went on books tours across the country to promote them. Last year she came to California and I went to her reading, standing hidden in the back, my cap and longer hair disguising me. She still looked as lovely I remembered her. She was well dressed, in a designer outfit and diamond earring adorned her ears. No matter what she was dressed up in though, I could still see the Joey I knew from childhood, I could still see her heart, mind and soul, even though we haven't spoken in a long time.  
  
Being so secluded gave me a lot of time to think. I thought about my mom and Lily, especially Lily because I was missing so much of her life. I bet she thinks I had a nervous breakdown or something and is living in seclusion somewhere in California, well that's partially correct. I still sent Christmas and birthday gifts but I couldn't go back there, not with the chance of seeing Joey and my son, especially if that guy was still around. Outside of my family though, I thought a lot about Joey. Sometimes when I closed my eyes while fishing or working around the house, I would hear her voice, yelling or teasing me about something. And every time I heard it, I always turned around to see if she was really there, but she wasn't. I still dreamed about her, about us living together, laughing and loving one another like we used to. That dream still hurts to have almost every night, but the ache turned to more of a constant dull pain, something that is always there but you don't really feel anymore. So that was my life, until something came in the mail one day, without a return address, and changed my life completely. Inside the plain white envelope was a clipping from a newspaper. No note was attached so I just opened up the clipping.  
  
Author announces engagement to long-time love  
  
Famous children's book author Josephine Potter announced her engagement to long-time boyfriend John Matthews Friday at her reading in Boston's popular "Book Time" store. Potter, the author of the "Mitch in the City" series, which features a small mouse making his way through New York City, said the wedding will happen sooner than later.  
  
"John and I have been together for a long time now and we don't want to wait to get married," she said, proudly holding her son Mitchell, who Potter has said was the idea for her books.  
  
Potter and Matthews, a Boston public school teacher, met years ago and have been frequent public figures in the Boston education and arts scene. Both are active in charity organizations and have fought for better public school funding. Potter remains mum on an actual wedding date, but said plans are already under way. When asked how her sons father felt about her remarriage, Potter remained tight-lipped and excused herself quickly.  
  
That was all that the clipping said. Joey was getting married again, presumably to the same man I saw her with in the park years ago. I shouldn't care because I pushed her away and chose to leave her and my son, but reading that she was remarrying made something stir inside of me. Unfolding another part of the article, I see a sharp picture of Joey holding our son, smiling and holding a copy of her book. The mysterious caller years ago was right, the child she held in her arms did look a lot like me. Actually it was like looking at my childhood pictures, which brought a comforting smile to my face. Running my finger over the picture a few times, losing myself in the thoughts I had of Joey and our child, I barely heard a voice that tried to break though my conscience.  
  
"Dawson? Dawson hello?" the voice said, causing me to finally snap out of my daydream, almost taken aback that someone found me out here. I didn't really have visitors.  
  
"Pacey, oh my god is that you?" I gasp, blinking my eyes to focus on the person in front of me.  
  
"Yeah man, how's it going?" he asks, nervously taking his hands out of his pockets.  
  
"How did you-" I start, slipping the clipping in my cargo pocket. "Your mom told me where you lived, I thought I should accompany that article you just read," he said, moving a bit closer to me.  
  
"You sent this?" I ask, moving closer to him as well.  
  
"Your mom did, she saw it when she went into Boston last week and thought you should see it," he said, the tension breaking a bit between us. "I just came along because I was hoping I could convince you to come back with me."  
  
"I can't go back Pacey, I promised myself a long time ago that I would leave her alone, let her be happy," I laugh, turning to walk back to the house.  
  
"And what about you Dawson, are you happy?" he asks causing me to stop in my tracks. "Are you happy here in isolation, left alone with your thoughts and regrets and memories of your soul mate and your son?"  
  
"You don't know what happened Pacey, I couldn't just waltz back into her life after what I did when she told me about the baby," I say, trying to keep an even tone in my voice. "Besides the last time I saw her, she and her now future husband were more than happy together."  
  
"Look Dawson if there's one thing I've learned by living through the Dawson and Joey saga, it's that no matter what seems to happen, you guys need each other, you're each other's air and without one another you just suffer," he says.  
  
"Haven't I made her suffer enough Pacey?" I ask, turning to face him again. "When is enough.just enough?"  
  
"You tell me Dawson, you're the dreamer, the idealist," he smiles, moving closer again. "Do you love her?"  
  
"Of course I do, everything I did, leaving all those years ago was because I loved her.I just couldn't give her what she wanted," I say, hanging my head.  
  
"What do you think she really wanted?" Pacey asks, shuffling his feet.  
  
"Me, she wanted me to leave Sarah, back when we were still married, but I wouldn't do it," I say bitterly. "I was too afraid to be with her, afraid she would just hurt me again."  
  
"Are you still afraid to be with her?" he asks, causing me to really stop and think. For years guilt clouded every emotion that he had.  
  
"What I feel doesn't matter anymore Pacey, you saw the clipping, she's getting married, she hates me and wouldn't speak to me anyhow," I say angrily.  
  
"I think you might be wrong on some of that Dawson," Pacey says with an evil smile, causing a flutter of hope to grow in my chest. "I have something for you, something I think you should see. She's getting married in a few days Dawson and there's still time to stop it, to tell her what happened and how you feel. You've both lost so much time together already, if you watch this and feel nothing then let her go for good, otherwise there's a plane ticket included with this to Boston leaving tomorrow. Go, see her and tell her how you feel and get her back. I have it on good authority that with the right reason, she would leave John."  
  
My head is spinning as he finishes his impassioned plea, watching him lay a video tape down on the ground between us, the olive branch, and then leave with a smile and half wave. I stare at that tape for a long time, wondering what I should to with it, curious as to what could possibly be on there. After a few minutes of deliberation though, I pick it up and hurry into the house to watch its contents. Slipping the tape into the VCR and settling on my chair, I can't help but gasp as home movies of Joey appear on the screen. They're home movies of her pregnancy that Pacey pieced together. Clips of the ultrasound, the image of my child on the screen, his little heart beating then in her womb, clips of her in labor, looking relieved and exhausted as she held our child in her arms. Clips show up on the screen of Joey taking our blonde haired child out on Halloween and singing to him softly at night, rocking away in an antique chair. I don't know who took the footage, but it's quite candid, catching moments I don't think Joey knew were caught. There are quick pictures of our son in a nursery school pageant, looking so proud and handsome in his costume. Pictures of Joey with the baby and even images of Bessie, Pacey, Jack and Amy come on the screen. I don't know how long the video was because I couldn't seem to focus on anything but the screen. The final image on that tape was Joey again rocking our child to sleep, singing Daydream Believer to him while stroking his back. I'm about to hit stop when she stops singing, but something holds me back. I barely even hear her whisper something to him the first time I watched it.  
  
"Mommy loves you Mitch.your daddy does too," she whispers, tears starting in her eyes. "I still love your daddy and maybe one day he'll get to come see us and see that we're not a mistake."  
  
Her words are like a knife being stabbed in my chest. She still loved me and wanted me to be there. The thought of this makes my heart race and head pound, but along with that love came the realization that she felt I considered her and Mitch, my son a mistake. Pausing the tape on that image of Joey and my child, Pacey's pleas ring in my head. Was he right? Would Joey leave this guy if I came back to stop the wedding? Remembering back to Joey's wedding to Christopher, the images of her giving me every chance to stop it come to my head. She wanted me to stop her and I didn't because I was afraid. Pulling the clipping out of my pocket, looking again at the picture of Joey and our son, the fear and guilt suddenly began to fade, causing me to smile, to really smile for the first time in months or years. I look back at the tape cover and see the plane ticket to Boston, set to leave tomorrow morning. This is it. This is the moment where I have to really decide what I want to do. I can go back tomorrow and try to win her back or I can let her go completely and live like this for the rest of my life, knowing I could never love another person as much as I love her. Without thinking I run out of my front door, wondering if Pacey is still there, only to stop immediately and smile at the sight of him sitting on the hood of his rental car in my front lawn.  
  
"Somehow I knew you would make the right choice Dawson," he laughs, throwing the grass clippings in his hands away. "Now let's get you packed and cleaned up a bit because I know Joey won't like this whole grizzled appearance you have going." 


	5. Face to Face

My heart is racing as I get out of a cab with Pacey in Boston the next day. All night I could barely sleep, trying to come up with a script or game plan about what I say when I see her, how I can make her believe I still love her and want her. Pacey is talking on the phone, laughing and throwing occasional glances in my direction, shaking his head when he notices me wringing my hands. The street is very familiar where we stop. It's Joey's street. I remember almost everything from that fateful day four years ago when I turned and left. The park is still there, still full of children and parents playing. Staring up at the townhouse in front of me, my thoughts are broken by Pacey's voice yet again.  
  
"Dawson, my accomplice just called and said that Joey won't be back for an hour or so, why don't you go make yourself comfortable in the park?" Pacey says, giving me a funny grin. Something's up but I'm too nervous to do anything else but agree.  
  
"Okay, are you coming?" I ask, noticing him grabbing our bags and shifting them around in the trunk.  
  
"Ah no I'll get us settled in the hotel, here is the name and address of it in case we get separated," he says hurriedly, getting back in the cab, throwing me a piece of paper before the car disappears. Without thinking I turn and walk back to the park, the memories of my last visit becoming fresh again in my mind. As hard as it is though I try not to focus on them and rather think about the time Joey and I spent together during that year before she got pregnant. I focus on her laugh and smile. I focus on the way she felt resting her head in my chest and the look in her eyes as she brushed hair away from my face, looking me right in the eyes after we made love.  
  
Rather than sit near the picnic area, I focus on the playground, getting myself mentally prepared for the fact that I have a four-year old son. Sitting on a bench near the jungle-gym and swings, my eyes scan over every child, wondering if they look more like their mother or father. For a minute I see a little girl, around three years old who looks a lot like Joey with deep brown hair and big eyes. My chest tightens, wondering if she could have had another child in my absence, but soften when I realize Pacey would have told me if she did. Scanning over the other children, I notice the back of one child, around four years old, laughing and calling for his mother.  
  
"Mommy look at me, mommy look!" he cries, trying to get his mother's attention. I look around as well for his mother, wondering when she'll appear and appease her impatient child. The child stands proudly at the top of the slide, probably showing his mother that he can make it to the bottom on his own. Finally the woman appears, but I can only see her back. Her long brown hair is tied nicely into a ponytail and she has her arms wrapped around her in the cool wind. Without saying anything she nods and beckons for her child to join her on the ground. With a giggle, the child finally turns around and locates her, causing my breath to leave my body. Standing in the sunlight, the wind gently rusting his hair is the four year old version of myself, complete with blue eyes and short, spiky blonde hair.  
  
"Okay Mitch I'm waiting," Joey laughs, holding her arms out for him to run into at the bottom of the slide.  
  
"Turn around, turn around," I mutter so I can see a glimpse of my Joey, my Joey holding our son. With a squeal Mitch flies down the slide and runs into Joey's arms, laughing as she swings him around a few times. As much I want to hide and confront her later, that opportunity is lost as I cannot move from my chair. Still unable to see me, I see a worried look come on her face, holding Mitch's hand as she looks around, as if she knows someone is watching her. It's the weird emotional bond we share, without seeing one another, we know if we're in close proximity to one another. Looking around for a minute, she finally turns and stops, settling her eyes on me, frozen on the bench. Leaning down to Mitch, she whispers something to him and he dashes off to join a friend and another mother, who is looking curiously at Joey. The next few minutes are a bit hazy as I feel everything go into slow motion around me.  
  
"Hello Dawson," a voice says softly, causing me to again leave my daydream and focus on Joey Potter, standing in front of me, looking as beautiful as the first day I saw her at the corner of Houston Street so many years ago.  
  
"Joey."I start, suddenly finding words difficult. "You look..beautiful."  
  
"What are you doing here?" she asks, fidgeting with her fingers and hem of her jacket, choosing to ignore my compliment.  
  
"I came.I saw the article about your engagement and I thought." I start, still having trouble formulating a sentence. "I missed you."  
  
"I somehow doubt that Dawson," she says with a half smile.  
  
"It's true," I answer too quickly, causing her to look up at me and sit down beside me on the bench. I can smell her perfume.  
  
"How have you been?" she asks, turning to look at me again.  
  
"Fine.I'm out in California again.just doing my Hemingway old man and the sea thing," I say, seeing her chuckle a bit.  
  
"Hemingway eh? Interesting choice," she says, still fidgeting. "No more television or movies?"  
  
"No," I say simply, looking at my lap. "I lost my focus, nothing really mattered after.after."  
  
"I know," she says, choking up a bit.  
  
"You look great Joey, I've read your books.they're great, I always knew you could be a writer," I say, hoping to stir something in her.  
  
"I'm a children's writer Dawson, it's not exactly War and Peace," she says with a snort, twirling a piece of her hair.  
  
"You're amazing.I mean the books, they are," I say, mentally kicking myself.  
  
"How's Sarah? Is she glad to be back in California?" Joey asks, as if she's bringing it up to remind herself of what life was like before.  
  
"We're divorced," I say, watching her head snap up a bit. "She left me not long after.she met someone else.left me for another man."  
  
"I'm sorry," she says with a hint of happiness in her voice.  
  
"I'm not, I didn't love her.I should have left years before," I say, catching her glance, getting lost yet again in those eyes, who are looking at me with a confused and scared look. She nods a bit, smoothing her hand over her jeans.  
  
"I've missed you Joey.so much," I start, unconsciously reaching for her hand and stroking it a bit with my thumb. I feel her body shake a bit but then relax. We sit there for several minutes in silence, just sitting lightly holding hands.  
  
"I missed you too Dawson.but it won't make things better, it won't fix what happened," she says suddenly and quickly, pulling her hand away and wrapping her arms around herself. "I have to go."  
  
"Joey wait, look I know you're busy with the wedding, but I would like to sit and talk with you more.maybe see Mitch, talk with him," I ask, trying not to sound like I'm begging.  
  
"We'll see Dawson.I.I just can't do this now, goodbye," she says and turns to leave, breaking into a slow jog as she runs back to Mitch, his friend and the friend's mother, grabbing our son's hand and dragging him out of the park and out of my sight.  
  
From the look on Pacey's face when I came back to the hotel, I knew it was a set up, the whole "go take a walk in the park" bullshit he fed me earlier. He could see I was reeling from the encounter so he tried to perk me up, saying I had to just lay the groundwork for the rest of the "master plan." He rattled on that there were several pre-wedding events that I would accompany him to, taking advantage of trying to see Joey, talk with her more, or figure out myself what I had to do to get her back. Sitting in Pacey's car, driving over to a local restaurant for drinks, I can't help but finally verbalize the latest thought in my head.  
  
"Why are you doing this Pacey, why are you helping me?" I ask. He pauses for a minute, thinking of the best answer.  
  
"Because it's time this whole soap opera ended.because I saw the way things were when you were together at Christmas in Capeside, while you were cheating," Pacey says softly, still choosing his words. "Because I couldn't make her happy, not for good, but you can and she deserves that."  
  
"Thank you," I say softly, reeling a bit from the past 24 hours and the way my former best friend has come back to help me.  
  
"No problem Dawson," he smiled, putting his car in park. We're here. "Besides someone had to do it for you because the two of you.you're giving Jack, Audrey and me gray hairs and we're much to young for that."  
  
The Harwood Bar is a quaint place in the middle of South Boston. With it's hardwood floors and bar, it's place you can't get lost in, but find yourself surrounded by a little bit of everyone. Walls are bookshelves, stuffed with leather bound copies of everything from Shakespeare to Flaubert. It's not a sports bar or a college hangout. It's very privileged and elite, somewhere the intellectuals and wealthy go to mingle. Tonight it's closed for a private party, Joey and John's party, and the only people attending are those invited to the wedding, minus me. I stay off to the sides, taking in the whole experience. It's by far the nicest establishment I've visited since I moved to California again. Pacey is talking to mutual friends he has with Joey and John while I look at the books on the wall, using that as an front while I really stare at Joey all night. She's painfully beautiful in a black suit dress that exposes her arms and her dark skin. She didn't know I was there at first, but the moment our eyes met again, she managed a smile before quickly looking away.  
  
That's how most of the night went, her mingling, me following her every move with my eyes. At one point she was close enough to touch and I didn't have to move to see the hairs on the back of her neck stand up. Later that night while I was in the bathroom she left, leaving me feeling a bit dejected, but Pacey with his mischievous wink calmed those fears. The next two days went the same way, go with Pacey to the events, watch Joey squirm once she saw I was there, getting quiet and looking as uncomfortable as possible. I watched innocently as John pulled her away at one point, most likely asking her what the hell was going on. I don't know if John knows who I am or my relationship with Joey, but I can see my presence is doing something.  
  
During those days leading up to the wedding, Joey and I didn't have a chance to really sit down and talk more. Mitch was not at all the events so the closest I could get to my son was when he wandered away from Bessie and looked at me, waving with a smile, Joey's smile. Words can't really express how that felt, having my son look me in the eyes and smile, but I could feel the connection with him that I've felt with his mother every day since we were children. The day of the rehearsal dinner was ironically overcast and somewhat gloomy. Pacey was trying to cheer me up all day, telling me that my being at the events were working and that Joey and John had been arguing the last few days.  
  
"It's just pre-wedding stress," I mutter, tying my tie.  
  
"No it's not Dawson, trust me," he said, giving me a pat on the back.  
  
When we arrived at Elliot's restaurant there was a decent crowd mingling around the dining area, waiting to take their seats. Joey and John were holding hands, welcoming guests. As Pacey and I made our way through the crowd, the look on Joey and John's face when they saw us was not exactly welcoming.  
  
"Dawson, Pacey good to see you again," John said with a fake smile. Joey shifted nervously and wiped her forehead, taking a deep breath.  
  
"You too guys, Potter you look good," Pacey said, kissing Joey on the cheek.  
  
"Thanks," she muttered, trying to be civil. She meets my glance that may have only lasted a minute, but felt like an hour.  
  
"Dawson can I speak with you for a minute," John asks, noticing the look between us. I nod and he takes me aside, away from the rest of the crowd. "Dawson I hope you know that as one of Joey's oldest friends, we're glad you've taken part in some of the previous activities leading up to the wedding, but the rehearsal dinner and the wedding itself is for invited guests only. I'm sorry but since you didn't receive a formal invitation I have to ask you to leave."  
  
I want to laugh right now because John, who actually does seem to be a stand-up guy, is trying to be tactful. I think I would respect him more if he told me what he was actually thinking, that he noticed the change in Joey's demeanor and is nervous with me being there. I don't know if he knows everything about us but I can guarantee I could tell him things about Joey that would blow his mind.  
  
"John I completely understand what you're saying and I realize my appearance here came as a surprise," I start sweetly, trying to kill him with kindness. "But I'm Pacey's guest to the wedding, he did respond that he was taking a guest right? So I'm not leaving." John takes a few deep breaths, taking in what I'm saying to him but I don't wait around for more. Pacey is waiting for me back in the dining area and casually shows me Joey at the bar throwing back several glasses of wine, lost in thought.  
  
"Be careful man, this could go either way," Pacey warns with a worried look on his face. I nod and watch her sigh deeply before grabbing yet another glass on wine and re-join John, who also doesn't look too happy.  
  
I'm staring at Joey again because she's wearing the dress I bought her for her birthday while we were together. It's pale blue and falls to her knee with a V-neck front. Without closing my eyes I can remember how beautiful she looked in it, trying it on immediately after I gave it to her. I told her how lovely she looked and she just smiled, kissing my passionately on the mouth and causing us to miss our dinner reservations, opting to re-live her 19th birthday and feed each other room service and cake later on. I snap out of my daydream for a minute to realize I'm still staring at her and she's staring back at me from across the room. But this time she doesn't look nervous or fidgety, she looks pissed.  
  
I try to give her a friendly smile and wave, but instead of returning that gesture, she is making her way through the crowd, heading right toward me.  
  
"I need to speak to you.now," she snaps, grabbing my arm and dragging me through the back of the restaurant and into the alley. Once we're outside, she drops my hand like a hot potato and begins pacing back and forth with her hands across her chest. "What the hell are you doing Dawson?"  
  
"Joey I'm just here enjoying your rehearsal dinner..." I start, wondering what could possibly happen next.  
  
"That's bullshit," she screams, catching herself and me off guard by the tone of her voice. "What are you doing here? Why are you here in Boston after no contact for almost five years? And don't tell me it's because you missed me or you 'love' me."  
  
"It's true Joey," I say, moving closer to her, knowing this is going to come out in an alley of a restaurant.  
  
"No it's not Dawson," she says angrily, her voice rising again. "If you loved me, if you loved your child and really missed us, you would have come back, you wouldn't have walked out of the Plaza hotel after I tell you that our love, what we felt for one another made our son!"  
  
"Joey walking out of that hotel room that night, leaving you there was the biggest mistake I've made," I say seriously, noticing her snort in disgust. "I'm serious okay, I never should have left you there and I should have found you the next day and told you everything I was thinking.but I was afraid."  
  
"Afraid of what Dawson, what was so scary that we couldn't have fixed it together, that you had to tell me you didn't love me anymore and that our relationship was a fling that meant nothing," she said, screaming again by the end of her sentence. "Did you just get involved with me again to hurt me, to make me pay for hurting you years before because I thought we were passed that."  
  
"No Joey I never, ever wanted to hurt you and this wasn't a revenge thing at all," I say, trying to catch her arm. "I was with you because I wanted to be, because I wanted to focus on us on what we have."  
  
"So why did you do it, what were you so scared of?" she asks, still upset.  
  
"I left because I wasn't sure if I could leave Sarah," I say, knowing that she has to be told this, but fearing her reaction. "I was afraid you would leave and hurt me again so I thought staying with Sarah was the easiest thing to do at that time."  
  
"Are you kidding me?" she screamed again, noticing a few people staring at us from the street. "I cheated on my husband for a year with you, willingly because I loved you because I wanted us to be together. All you had to do was tell me you wanted to be with me all the time and I would have left Christopher immediately without any thought."  
  
"I know, I know that now but at the time it was just too much to handle and I panicked Joey, but I've lived to regret it, trust me," I say pleadingly.  
  
"I hope so because you don't deserve to know your son for what you've done," she says bitterly, looking at me with the coldest stare. "When he asked me about his father, what was I supposed to tell him? Tell him that his father is a self-centered bastard that used me and then threw me away when we should have become closer?"  
  
"Joey, come on," I stammer, her words cutting through me like a knife. "I know I hurt you and I want nothing more than to make up for that, for you to believe me again and know that I want you and love you more than ever."  
  
"You don't love anyone Dawson, outside of Gail and Lily," she says coldly, tears starting in her eyes.  
  
"No that's bull and you know it," I say, finally getting angry myself. "You know how I feel about you, you know how much I love you. You know because I can still make the hairs on the back of your neck stand up, you wear the dress I bought you to your wedding rehearsal and you look at me and still have love in your eyes. When you look back at that year together, you can't really think that I didn't love you and that I would go through all this again because I don't love you."  
  
"Why didn't you come back sooner?" she asks, calming down a bit.  
  
"I did," I say, looking away for a bit. "I came to Boston not long after you gave birth because I wanted to tell you how sorry I was for hurting you, for making you do all this alone. I wanted to tell you that I loved you still and that I would do anything to have you come back to me forever."  
  
"So what happened because I never saw you," she says, moving closer to me finally.  
  
"I saw you with Mitch in the park by your place and I watched you for awhile, taken back by how natural it looked, you with our child and how beautiful you looked no matter what happened in the past few months," I start, unconsciously moving closer too. "But then as I was about to approach you John sat down.I saw you two kiss and I just felt like you were gone.that I finally ruined things with us for good."  
  
"So you left," she says simply.  
  
"Yes and leaving you, knowing you were better off without me, that I would only cause you more hurt and heartache just about killed me because I loved you that much," I whisper, reaching out for her. "But you've never been out of my thoughts Jo. I've dreamt about you and our son this entire time and I knew I had to come back to see if there was any hope for us before it was too late."  
  
"So what do you want from me?" she asks, looking at the ground.  
  
"I want you to call off the wedding and marry me," I say, shocked because I actually said it out loud. Her head snaps up and stares at me in shock for a minute, digesting what I've just told her.  
  
"Dawson.I don't know.it's been so long and I don't know if I can really trust you." she says, cut off only because I've truly lost my mind and pulled her in my arms, kissing her so hard it hurts. She tenses for a minute, almost fighting me, but soon she relaxes and gives in, letting me kiss away the hurt and anger and fear, letting me try to tell her this way how much I truly love her. We stay this way for a while, I think, time sort of started to pass by slowly while we were together. I missed this feeling, her running her hands through my hair, holding me tightly against her.more memories flood my mind.  
  
When we finally pull apart, mostly because I can't breathe, her eyes are glassy and clouded over. Holding her hand tightly, I rub her hand with my thumb, waiting anxiously for her to say something.  
  
"Dawson.I have.I have to go," she says quickly, dropping her hand from my grasp.  
  
"Joey don't walk away from this.please," I say, dumbfounded that she's leaving it this way.  
  
"Dawson I don't know what to think right now or what to feel," she stammers, smoothing down her hair.  
  
"But Joey we kissed.I know you felt something," I stutter, trying to think of something to make her stay.  
  
"Dawson one kiss doesn't prove you really want me back, that you're ready for this or to really commit to me and my son," she says, turning to leave.  
  
"So what can I do to prove to you that I love you, what do you want me to do?" I beg, hoping she won't leave.  
  
"Take action Dawson, that will speak louder than anything else right now.after everything that's happened," she says, shutting the door softly behind her. 


	6. The TruthThe End

A/N: Okay everyone this is the last chapter, I hope you enjoyed it!  
  
I feel like a new man. I can't help but smile as I walk down the street, an extra spring is apparent in my step. It's like I'm fifteen.yet again. The sky is suddenly brighter, the birds are chirping just for me and it feels like nothing can bother or touch me. Today is the day that I, Dawson Leery, got my shit together. I want Joey and today is the day that I get her and my son back, on her wedding day, her wedding day to another man. Now part of me feels bad for what I'm about to do, for what I have to do, but after last night I can't feel guilty. She told me to take action and Pacey told me in California that with the right motivation she would leave John so today I'll give her that. I'm going to tell her what I should have said at her first wedding, her wedding to Christopher, setting the ball in motion to bring us where we are today. I won't leave without her.I can't live without her.not anymore.  
  
Unfortunately because I was up thinking about her last night and how good it felt to kiss her, I didn't get to bed until late and now overslept, enjoying the brighter than usual sun and everything as I run to the church. The wedding starts in a half hour. Pacey left me a note with the location and time of the wedding, causing me to jump out of bed and change immediately into my suit so I could make it before she walks down the aisle. Approaching the church finally, running the last mile of the trip because of stupid traffic, I see the limo with the "Just Married" sign on it and the sound of church bells, signaling the near beginning of the ceremony. I stayed up late, scripting what I would say to her, what I would do when I arrived, but right now, staring at the doors, I can't think of a damn thing I meant to say.  
  
Taking a deep breath and wiping the sweat from my forehead, I pull the doors open and adjust my eyes to the indoor light, frantically looking for Joey. My heart starts pounding when I see Joey with Bessie, arm in arm, walking down the aisle. They're only a third of the way down so I could still grab her, but I'm frozen for a moment in my place. Could I really do this? Could I really interrupt her, stop her from doing this when part of her really wants to marry this guy? Well I don't know that for sure but she's walking down the aisle! Contemplating my next move, whether or not I should do this, I get my answer when I see Joey meekly peer over her shoulder, looking for someone to come up behind and stop her.  
  
"Wait, Joey," I stammer, finally getting my courage back. She doesn't hear me over the organ so I begin to walk toward her, stepping out of the protection of the balcony overhang and into the church, where everyone can see me get closer behind her, grabbing her elbow. "Joey," I say a bit louder, causing her to spin around.  
  
I wish I could really describe what the look on her face was. Looking back, I think it was shock, surprise, horror.relief, as if part of her knew I would come for her.  
  
"What are you doing here?" she asks nervously, smiling weakly at me.  
  
"I need to talk to you," I say again, peering over her should to see Pacey take a deep breath and close his eyes in relief as well.  
  
"Now?" she asks, again smiling at me, this time taking my hand. God it feels good to hold her hand again and she initiated it! I'm smiling back now.  
  
"Yes," I say, grabbing her other hand, smiling like a damn fool and dragging her out of the church, ignoring the collective gasps and whisperings and taking her to the bridal suite, hearing her giggle and locking the door behind me. Turning, I see her standing on the opposite side of the room, flushed and looking at me, wondering what I'll say or do next. With the soft light through the windows she looks like an angel and so without another thoughts I pull her into a tight hug, feeling her gasp a bit but wrap her arms around me like she can't get enough of me.  
  
Pulling back a bit, I chuckle and cup her face in my hands, taking a minute to get lost yet again in those eyes. Without yet another thought I pull her close to me, kissing her so hard it hurts. We fight one another at first, seeing which one can devour more of the other person. I want to kiss her neck so bad but I can't manage to tear my lips away, missing the feel of them against mine. Exercising some restraint, I pull away, looking at her slightly swollen lips and glassy eyes, remembering the last time she looked at me that way.  
  
"I love you, after that kiss last night I spent the evening thinking about you and what I wanted," I say pulling her back for another kiss. "I'm so sorry I hurt you.you've never been a mistake to me.you're the only thing that matters," I say again between kisses. Part of me is terrified to let her go, afraid she'll leave and get married.  
  
"Dawson." she starts, trying to get a word in.  
  
"No listen," I say, still holding her face in my hands as her arms wrap around my waist. "I should have done this years ago when you first got married. I knew you wanted me to say this but I didn't and I have regretted that and that night at the Plaza ever since so don't interrupt me." She nods and waits for me to continue. "I love you Joey, please, please believe that. I can't live without you anymore. I won't let you do this and I won't let this slip away from us again. Marry me Joey, leave John and this church and come away with me and I promise I will spend every day making up for all the time we've lost. You told me to take action so that's what I'm doing. I won't leave here without you and our son Joey so we can do this the hard way or the fun way." Palpable tension fills the small room.  
  
"I need you.please don't leave me," I say, tears starting in my eyes. She looks at me, slightly shocked by what I'm saying. The seconds in silence are torture, me waiting for her to say something, anything. With her heartbreaking smile, she takes my hands, holding them tightly.  
  
"See all you had to do was say something.that's all I wanted you to do to show that you wanted me like I wanted you," she whispers, holding my hand tight and leaning in to rest her forehead against mine. I can't help but let a tear roll down my face, which she kisses away, running her fingers through my hair. At this moment, I feel like my life has started over yet again, but this time there won't be any more distractions.  
  
"Joey are you okay, Joey open the door," John says through the door, trying to get it to open, throwing his body lightly against the door. The sound of his voice pulls us apart, now joined only by our hands. We look at each other and smile lightly, scanning the room for what we should do next.  
  
"What do we do?" she asks, leaning in to wrap her arm around me. Looking over her shoulder I see the window and drop her hand to push it open lightly, noticing that a person could fit through there.  
  
"We're leaving," I say, grabbing a chair to give us a boost.  
  
"Dawson how? They'll rush us when we open the door," she whispers fiercely, trying to block out the nagging noises outside of the door.  
  
"We're not using the door, we're going out the window," I say, turning to take her hand and help her out.  
  
"You're crazy, we can't!" she squeals, pulling back for a minute.  
  
"Yes we can.Joey don't think about this, don't analyze this, let's just go.now.together," I say with a smile, reaching again for her. She looks at me for a second, unsure, but then takes my hand and lets me help her out. Giggling like children, she drops easily out of the window, kicking off her high heels and peeling off her veil, waiting anxiously for me in the grass outside the church. Squeezing myself through the window, I stop and look at her, feeling like the luckiest guy in the world.  
  
"Dawson come on," she urges, grabbing my arm, kissing me softly on the lips before dragging my over to the lot. "Where's you car?" she asks, frantically searching the lot.  
  
"Ah I ran the last mile," I say sheepishly.  
  
"You ran? Are you nuts?" she cries, looking at me in shock.  
  
"I would have run the whole way to make sure I got to you in time," I say sincerely, watching her blush a bit before pulling her in for another kiss. At this moment I can't get enough of her.  
  
"Joey, Joey stop," I hear someone call, pulling away to see John and part of the guests standing at the front door of the church, witnessing us together. Fearing he'll come and take her away, I grab her hand and realize I have car keys in my pocket, Pacey's keys, slipped there by him before he left for the wedding. I catch his eye momentarily and he smiles, wiping his brow and then motioning for us to go.now.  
  
"Come on," I say giddily, dragging her to his car, getting her secured there and then jumping in the drivers seat, peeling out of the lot, leaving everyone behind us. I still remember that feeling, driving away from the church, holding her hand and letting the warm breeze hit my face. Of all those moments I remember from that day, the one I love the most is when I glance over, still holding her hand and seeing her smile at me, looking like the Joey I fell in love with when I was fifteen. Staring at one another for a minute though we smile and she leans in to kiss my cheek, slowing making her way to my mouth, god that was a great day.  
  
One year later  
  
It's funny that a few years ago I remarked how different my life was from what it used to be, how it was actually a 180-degree turn. I guess things are like that now.my life is completely different again and I have only one...actually two people to thank. I am back in California, living in Sausalito, but not in the house I was in before. With two other people living with me now I needed more space.kids have a lot of stuff! So now we're in a three-bedroom home, right on the beach, with miles of water and sand in front of us. It's a nice place and Joey did a great job redecorating. She even kept some of my stuff from my previous house, stuff that works with her things and the new items we've purchased together. She said my "bachelor, woodsy crap" had to go, but I didn't mind. Oh wait I'm jumping ahead again.  
  
So yes Joey ran out on her 200 guest wedding with me, causing quite a stir, yet not really surprising some of the guests who knew about me and our history. John was upset, understandably, and after we spent the most amazing 24 hours together...ah.celebrating, she left to see him and straighten things out. I never thought she would return as quickly as she did, let alone with our son in her arms, grinning like a kid.  
  
"Mitchell, I want you to meet someone very close to Mommy, this is Dawson, can you say hi baby?" she cooed, looking between the two of us. I froze again, but he reached for me immediately, crawling into my arms and clinging to me just like his mother did at times.  
  
"Hi Dawson," he whispered, giggling and looking quickly at Joey.  
  
"Hello Mitchell," I stammer, still trying to process this moment. With her famous half smile, Joey pushes us back into the hotel room we're staying in and we spent that whole day as a family, playing, talking and listening, mostly me listening to every sound my child made while Joey and Mitch told me stories about him as a baby, his favorite things, etc. No one has ever turned me upside down like Mitch did.well maybe with the exception of his mother.  
  
That night when Mitch went to sleep, sleeping soundly on the king size bed, Joey and I sat up and talked about the future, what we wanted, where we were going to go.  
  
"So we'll stay in Boston," I said, holding her tightly on my lap as she traced her fingernails up my bare arm.  
  
"Why? Why don't we start over, just the three of us?" she asked, yawning a bit.  
  
"Well your career is here Joey, I don't want to take you away from that," I say, kissing her head, suddenly aroused yet again by her touch and presence.  
  
"Dawson I'm a writer, I can write from anywhere!" she laughs, turning to face me. "I don't want to stay in Boston.I want us to go somewhere together, buy a nice house and just be together. No more bad memories, no more memories of us apart."  
  
"Well I do have a house in California.it'll be too small with the three of us, but we could buy a new one and live right on the water." I start feeling my daydream come to life again.  
  
"I could write on the beach while you and Mitch play and we could go for long walks alone and wake up with the sound of the ocean," she says dreamily, almost as if we're having the same thought.  
  
"We could get married on the beach, just the three of us and the priest." I saw dreamily, feeling her shift to rest her cheek against my chest, glancing over at our sleeping son.  
  
"But what about you?" she asks, breaking the silence. "What about your career? What have you done for money the last few years?"  
  
"I invested a lot of my 'Creek' money so I lived comfortably on the interest from that and I had some saved, but trust me Jo if you saw what I was accustomed to.it wasn't like I cared about money or used much of it," I laugh.  
  
"I want us to be somewhere where we can be together but be successful too," she says, leaning in to kiss me softly. "I can write anywhere so you just name what you want to do and we'll go there." There's another moment of silence as I ponder this.  
  
"I don't know what I want to do Jo, but I know that I want to spend as much time as I can with you and Mitch so let's go to California together and buy a new house and just focus on being a family," I whisper, kissing her again.  
  
"Okay," she whispers, snuggling close to me again.  
  
So we went back to California and bought a new house. I began writing again slowly, finding the most amazing inspiration with Joey and Mitch around. I shouldn't be totally surprised by this though because she always brought out the best in me. My favorite moments were us sitting together in the living room or on the beach while Mitch played in front of us, both of us furiously typing or writing and drawing next to one another. We would work for awhile and then she or I would tell the other to stop and sit in each other's arms or hold hands from our respective chairs while our son played and laughed. Sometimes while Joey would go into town for stuff I would just sit and play with Mitch, listening to his endless conversations and wisdom, even at almost five years old. I took him fishing and taught him how to partially drive a boat.we don't tell Joey about that though. After three months in California it happened.Mitch asked about his dad again and this time it happened while we were on the boat together, without Joey to help me out.  
  
"Dawson do you know about my daddy?" he asked, catching my completely off guard.  
  
"Ah well Mitch what did your mom tell you about him?" I ask, realizing Joey and I never discussed what or when we would tell Mitch about me.  
  
"She said he had to go, but that he loved me very much and one day would come back for me," he said, not realizing the strings this little guy was pulling for me.  
  
"He does.he loves you very much Mitch and he loves your mom too," I say, trying to hold myself together.  
  
"If he loves me and Mommy so much, why isn't he here?" he asks, sitting closer to me.  
  
"It's a long story kiddo but I know.he might be closer than you think," I say, stopping because I shouldn't do this without Joey with me.  
  
"You love my mommy don't you?" he asked.  
  
"Yes I do, I love your mother so much Mitch that it hurts," I whisper, sitting him on my lap.  
  
"Do you love me?" he asked.  
  
"Yes, I love you as much as I love you mother.and that's a lot," I say with a smile.  
  
"Well if my daddy loved me and my mommy but couldn't be here then why don't you just be my dad," he asked, causing me to almost lose it.  
  
"I think I can do that," I say, holding him close.  
  
Joey could tell something was up when we got back and that night I told her what happened and not long after we told Mitch the truth, which he understood fairly well for a young child.  
  
With that little bomb taken care of, we settled into a comfortable routine. Joey and I wrote, Mitch played and soon began school. Joey and I cooked together with Mitch sitting in the kitchen with us and we all went for a walk on our beach at night. Even now I can remember how it felt, walking in my bare feet against the cool sand, holding Joey's hand tightly in mine and watching as our son threw stones into the ocean and ran ahead of us, leaving a trail of footprints in the sand. Just before we came back to the house though he would turn around and jump in Joey's or my arms and we would carry him home, still holding onto one another tightly. The vision of our child and my Joey against the settling California sun is another image burned into my retinas, but this one doesn't cause me the heartache that the other image I had burned in my head.  
  
Not long after Mitch began school, I asked Joey to marry me. Well it wasn't the romantic proposal I initially thought of, but she didn't care. I ended up asking her one night while we were making dinner together and Mitch was coloring on the counter with a stool holding him up. I wanted to ask her for a while but I was nervous and wanted to ask Mitch for "permission" beforehand. But in the end I asked her while I was cooking noodles and she was cutting up green peppers. She was shocked but pleased, thinking I was initially crazy but soon realized I was dead serious when I produced a ring that I was carrying around constantly for the last week and a half. She started to cry and said yes immediately, pulling me in for a hug and deep kiss, causing Mitch to groan and interrupt the moment to show us his drawing.  
  
So now here we are, we're all caught up. At this moment I'm standing on our beach, dressed in a linen shirt and pants with Joey in a white linen sundress, her hair curly and fastened with flowers. Mitch is there, serving as best man with Bessie as the matron of honor. I'm not really listening to the priest because I'm too busy recounting this story for you so you know how happy I am at this moment. You know now how we survived everything and what lead us here. Standing here, barefoot, with Joey holding my hand and our son and family behind us, I feel like everything we went through wasn't for nothing. I could still be married and unhappy with Sarah, living in LA or NYC without Joey, who might still be married to Christopher. I could be bitter and angry that we've lost so much time together and I missed the first few years of my child's life, but amazingly I'm not. I'm not angry or bitter because I have them here with me now and in a few moments, Joey will be my wife, finally after thirty-some years. I don't know if we'll have more children but I don't really worry about it. We have Mitch, who is a gift, and if he should get a brother or sister along the line, that's fine and if not, that's fine by me.  
  
"Do you Dawson take Joey to be your lawfully wedded wife, to love, honor and cherish until death do you part?" the priest asks, breaking me from my thoughts.  
  
"I do," I say with a smile, feeling her hand squeeze mine a bit.  
  
"Do you Joey take Dawson to be your lawfully wedded husband, to love, honor and cherish until death do you part?" the priest asks her in return.  
  
"I do," she says instantly, giggling as I rub her hand with my thumb.  
  
"So by the power of god vested in me and by the state of California, I now pronounce you husband and wife.you may kiss your bride," he says, noticing as I quickly pull her into my arms, hearing her laugh a bit before we kiss, feeling the entire world fade away. There's clapping and cheering behind us, causing her to blush when I deepen the kiss, but I don't care.  
  
"Ah guys, maybe we should go back and get the reception started and you can join us whenever," Pacey laughs, leading the way back up to our house.  
  
We stay there for a minute, Joey and I, kissing happily, still processing the fact that we're actually married. Mitch stays behind too, laughing and pulling on my pant leg, motioning for me to lift him up. With another quick kiss from my wife and our son in my arms, I put my arm around her and we begin our way back up to the house. Today, my second wedding day, was a great day and I was fortunate enough to have everyone I love there with me and now I have Joey and our son with me. Life really can't be much better.  
  
THE END 


End file.
